In a world that often cushions, shortcuts, and rescues, helping boys grow into young men of character and resilience can be a countercultural act. As educators and parents, our role is not to remove every challenge from their path, but to walk alongside them as they learn to face life with courage, accountability, and independence. Sometimes this means we must let them struggle, let them fail, and let them face the consequences. 
I have been watching episodes of Channel 9s 'Parental Guidance' out of interest in the different parenting styles, and the interplay of these approaches on young people. My personal observations find that there is no 'one size fits all' approach for raising and educating young people but, that how we as adults approach young people can make a difference. Sometimes even the much-criticised helicopter parenting is necessary – 'hovering' or stepping in decisively when a child is experiencing a mental health crisis can be a good thing. When executive function may break down, the helicopter approach becomes anchoring and reassuring, sending the message that they are not alone. However, if this is the only approach it can be harmful, hindering growth, resilience and independence.
I recently read of 'Bicycle Parenting', a hopeful alternative offered by Andrew Lines (Founder of The Rite Journey and Heroic Habits programs). Just like learning to ride a bike, boys need support to get started, space to wobble and fall when the training wheels are off, and the encouragement to find the confidence to ride on their own.
When they fall – they miss a team selection, they underachieve on an assessment, they forget a crucial piece of equipment or uniform, they have a detention – we must resist the urge to fix everything. Our role becomes one that helps them to get back up, try again, reflect on their choices and importantly continue to encourage their efforts. We don't fix, we coach. It's not abandonment, it's building trust – you trust them, and that they should trust their own capacities.
The safety of our school is the perfect place to fall – so let them! One day we will no longer be there to guide them, to grip the seat when they wobble and to protect them. We want to make sure that when this time comes, they ride independently, confidently and with a sense of earned achievement.
Emer Hickey
Deputy Principal - Pastoral Care
